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Browsing All posts tagged under »Not your average mom«

Flashback; The Birth of Lil Johnny

September 20, 2013

In celebration of Lil’ Johnny turning one, I will share with you his birth story. The real story. I have had this written for almost a year – written down a few days after birth to capture all emotion and so none of the unbelievable shit that went down would be forgotten. Which in hindsight […]

The Name Game

August 29, 2013

Do you have trouble remembering names? I refer to it as the name game. It’s a game I never win. My memory sucks. It could be that I have too much going on inside my head. It could be that I wasn’t listening. It could be that I don’t give a shit. Or the most […]

Godzilla

June 20, 2013

Little Johnny had his 9-month check up the other day. As usual, the nurse measured his weight, length, and head circumference. No shocker here, he’s big. But this time, he posted a stat unlike before: 98 percentile in all three categories. I waited for a trophy. It never came. He’s measured big before. High 80s. […]

The Triple Crown

June 2, 2013

Very Inspiring Blogger Award Holy Hell. Another Award! I didn’t even know that there was another award. What I am more shocked at is that you people actually like to read my rambles, rants, and tirades. You are sooo messed up. Welcome to the club. Big props to Real Life Mom Blog for nominating NATM […]

Blue Bags

May 28, 2013

Ladies and gentleman – we went to Ikea. Is there no greater hell on earth than the Saturday Ikea crowd? The answer simply… No. The reason for going – we needed an umbrella. The reason we need an umbrella – Is scary. We live in an apartment on a high floor and are lucky enough […]

Baby Tires

May 24, 2013

Our little man Jolly Green (Giant) has bypassed his original nickname. He now can only be referred to as the Hulk. Not only because he favors green veggies over the orange ones, but because he’s no longer Jolly Huge…he’s incredibly huge. The Incredible Hulk he is. The realization came when changing him this morning…as his […]

I Hate Teeth

May 5, 2013

I have bad teeth. Actually, bad is an understatement. I have horrifically horrible are-you-sure-your-not-a-drug-addict teeth. I have had countless cavities, abscesses, and root-canals. I’ve chipped, broken and cracked many. I’ve had or have braces, retainers and bridges. I have more porcelain in my mouth than you grandma has in her cabinet, minus the floral pattern. I know more […]

Pinterest Makes me Feel Like Shit

April 28, 2013

Does this happen to anyone else? You click onto Pinterest and see literally 60,000 other moms postings amazing Lil Sally and Johnny crafty art projects, games, activities, recipes, picture ideas, and whatever the fuck else – and then you feel like shit. I missed out on doing/eating/playing these cool _____ (insert here) with my son and now […]

Another One?! Versatile Blogger Award

April 25, 2013

Another award? For this shit? Really???!? The Dissocial Mom at http://thedissocialmom.com nominated NATM for the Versatile Blogger award. We feel honored, humbled, and slightly scared. I’m completely joking…I love writing and glad that there are crazy people like me out there. Cheers! It’s nice to know that I’m not alone. The rules for the […]

Things I Googled this Week Vol. 2

April 22, 2013

Things I actually, shit you not, Googled this week: Volume 2 do babies eat salmon salmon baby recipes how to buy salmon how to cook salmon how to get salmon smell out of apartment what does a mango look like how to tell if mango is ripe baby recipes with mango baby cold symptoms how […]