Browsing All posts tagged under »Not a typical mom«

Walk This Way

October 2, 2013

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Lil’ Johnny just turned one. It took a bit of Mommy juice to swallow this. I can’t believe I have a one year old child. Time frickin flies. No longer a baby, He’s officially a toddler. Except he’s not toddling yet. He’s almost 3 feet tall and growing a mustache but not walking yet. And […]

Flashback; The Birth of Lil Johnny

September 20, 2013

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In celebration of Lil’ Johnny turning one, I will share with you his birth story. The real story. I have had this written for almost a year – written down a few days after birth to capture all emotion and so none of the unbelievable shit that went down would be forgotten. Which in hindsight […]

The Name Game

August 29, 2013

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Do you have trouble remembering names? I refer to it as the name game. It’s a game I never win. My memory sucks. It could be that I have too much going on inside my head. It could be that I wasn’t listening. It could be that I don’t give a shit. Or the most […]

Lil’ Bookworm

August 25, 2013

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Lil’ Johnny loves his books. He just can’t get enough of them. What a great thing – our son loves books! A great tool for learning, it makes for a happy parent. Baby Touch and feel books, color books, baby faces books, first words…animals…peek-a-boo…you name it, we’ve got it. And here-in lies the problem. We’ve […]

Bite Me

August 18, 2013

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I hate mosquitoes. With a passion. But really…who doesn’t? I know I am not alone. I really don’t think that there are people who really enjoy endlessly scratching and thus causing bleeding welts that nicely transform to acne looking scars all their legs during prime shorts season. Wait – that doesn’t happen to you? Consider […]

The F Word

July 25, 2013

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Since Lil’ Johnny has joined our world I have become an F word enthusiast. Truthfully, I’ve always cursed like a sailor. But today I’m talking about a different F word. The Firsts. The First Halloween, the First Christmas, the First Easter, etc… A onesie for each; a picture of all. It’s been a wild ride […]

Toasted

July 12, 2013

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I don’t cook. At. All. A lot of people say this but really don’t mean it. They make toast. They make a Tombstone pizza. They bake cupcakes from a box. My friends, this is cooking. If you open the oven door, that qualifies as cooking. So stop lying. I hold cooking at such a level […]

Crawl Space

July 6, 2013

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Lock down the house and baton down the hatches. Lil Johnny is crawling. Backwards only, and complete with grunting noises, but make no mistake – crawling he is. He’s loving it, and I’m losing it. But not because I m worried about the things he could get into…Dave and I actually hired a baby proofer […]

Mom Hands

June 28, 2013

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In getting ready this morning, I looked down at my hands and noticed that they were a glowing shade of white. Now I’m usually pale (ok, more like chalk) but it’s summer- so I’m a little more vanilla now. So What the hell, why my hands white? I figured it maybe was the lighting, so […]

Godzilla

June 20, 2013

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Little Johnny had his 9-month check up the other day. As usual, the nurse measured his weight, length, and head circumference. No shocker here, he’s big. But this time, he posted a stat unlike before: 98 percentile in all three categories. I waited for a trophy. It never came. He’s measured big before. High 80s. […]