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Browsing All posts tagged under »Mommy Blog«

Getting Schooled

August 5, 2013

How much did you pay for college? I (ok, my loans and mom) paid $20,000 for 4 years, tuition only, at a Big Ten state college. At that time the school was hard to get into. Hard, meaning one had to test into it to be accepted. Prospective students required a high SAT score and […]

Toasted

July 12, 2013

I don’t cook. At. All. A lot of people say this but really don’t mean it. They make toast. They make a Tombstone pizza. They bake cupcakes from a box. My friends, this is cooking. If you open the oven door, that qualifies as cooking. So stop lying. I hold cooking at such a level […]

Crawl Space

July 6, 2013

Lock down the house and baton down the hatches. Lil Johnny is crawling. Backwards only, and complete with grunting noises, but make no mistake – crawling he is. He’s loving it, and I’m losing it. But not because I m worried about the things he could get into…Dave and I actually hired a baby proofer […]

Mom Hands

June 28, 2013

In getting ready this morning, I looked down at my hands and noticed that they were a glowing shade of white. Now I’m usually pale (ok, more like chalk) but it’s summer- so I’m a little more vanilla now. So What the hell, why my hands white? I figured it maybe was the lighting, so […]

Godzilla

June 20, 2013

Little Johnny had his 9-month check up the other day. As usual, the nurse measured his weight, length, and head circumference. No shocker here, he’s big. But this time, he posted a stat unlike before: 98 percentile in all three categories. I waited for a trophy. It never came. He’s measured big before. High 80s. […]

Fuck You Delta Airlines

June 14, 2013

How did you spend your Thursday? I spent mine in LGA airport for over 10 HOURS. Now – that’s pretty bad right? But let me keep going. I had a stroller with an 8 month old little Johnny with me. Wow. Really bad, right? I’m not done. And… I had my over zealous Little Weiner […]

The Triple Crown

June 2, 2013

Very Inspiring Blogger Award Holy Hell. Another Award! I didn’t even know that there was another award. What I am more shocked at is that you people actually like to read my rambles, rants, and tirades. You are sooo messed up. Welcome to the club. Big props to Real Life Mom Blog for nominating NATM […]

Blue Bags

May 28, 2013

Ladies and gentleman – we went to Ikea. Is there no greater hell on earth than the Saturday Ikea crowd? The answer simply… No. The reason for going – we needed an umbrella. The reason we need an umbrella – Is scary. We live in an apartment on a high floor and are lucky enough […]

Baby Tires

May 24, 2013

Our little man Jolly Green (Giant) has bypassed his original nickname. He now can only be referred to as the Hulk. Not only because he favors green veggies over the orange ones, but because he’s no longer Jolly Huge…he’s incredibly huge. The Incredible Hulk he is. The realization came when changing him this morning…as his […]

Happy Moms Day

May 12, 2013

My first mothers day – could it be? I’m a mom? No shit, that’s me. Somedays I still can’t believe that I’m a mom… That I actually gave birth to a spawn. How I now can’t remember life before him, the days of partying until dawn on a whim. Unmentionable things used to give me […]