Browsing All posts tagged under »Comical mom«

Jaraholic

March 15, 2013

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Hi. I’m a new mom and I’m a jaraholic. I have been feeding my son jarred food for about 2 months. I feed my son jar food because I don’t know how to cook, purée, or steam. I don’t know what half the fucking veggies are in the grocery store, and I don’t have time […]

Insomnizombie

March 12, 2013

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Sleep deprivation is a normal part of having a child. Mix in a night of insomnia and we have a whole new level of exhaustion. We have Insomnizombie. You know the ones… The days when you find yourself sleeping in the shower, putting clothes on inside out and the bags under your eyes have their […]

99 Bottles

February 15, 2013

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How many bottles do you have in your cupboard? I just counted mine and I’m embarrassed that there’s more baby bottles in this house then there are wine bottles. So – even with all these bottles, why is that I feel as if I am doing dishes every goddamn minute? Am I sleep walking and […]

Giraffes belong in a Zoo

February 10, 2013

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Why does society find it necessary to place every known zoo animal on a onesie? As a fashion designer by trade I have long wondered this. I’ve been told that characters sell well. My response – of course they sell well – these animals are on EVERYTHING. They sell well because there’s no option to […]

Snow Baby

February 9, 2013

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Today we got a blizzard in NYC. Seven inches. Anywhere else, not a big deal. Here? Shuts down the city. Works for me, I got outta work early. So we decided to get out the sled. Show lil Johnny what snow is all about! We found out that snow rates about as highly as prunes […]

The Big Chair

February 6, 2013

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It’s now time. With Lil Johnny’s new found love of purée and success with the spoon, it’s time for the big chair. I stop by our local baby trap store to check out some options after work. Holy hell. These things are gigantic. I mean titanic gigantic. How come a chair that sits a 18 […]

Little Pearls

February 5, 2013

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Home from work last night and was told by the nanny that little man has been crying all day. Awesome. That means crying all night too. Another no sleep night for me! At this point, it really doesn’t matter. I’m a walking zombie anyways. I look at the screech monster. His cheeks are pinker than […]

Balding at 4 Months?

February 4, 2013

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Like mother like son? Little Johnny is f’en balding. Seriously. Ok ok, it’s not balding per say, but it is a bald spot. He has a spot on the back of his head the size of a coconut where all the hair has rubbed completely off, down to the bare skinny skin skin. And now […]

Little House on the Naming

February 3, 2013

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At home visiting my mom. She’s not well, but well enough to watch a little TV with me. We flip through the channels and come across Little House on the Prairie. Her favorite show she reminds me. Ok, ok. I conceded. We can watch it. I cringe at the bad acting, low pixels, and general […]

Groundhog Day

February 2, 2013

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Oh the movie Groundhog Day. Full disclosure. I do like this movie. I usually watch it once a year, and typically once a year right around Feb 2nd when these f’en channels play it on a 24 hour loop. Even fuller disclosure: I like the groundhog. My husband and I even went and saw Mr. […]