Resolutions

Posted on January 12, 2014

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We all have them. They may not start on Jan 1st (or Jan 2nd for that matter if you were still nursing a hangover from one too many glasses of cava like me)… But resolutions are a part of life. We all strive for something better. To run a few extra miles a week. To spend less money. To eat less sugar. Or D – All of the above . We all have something we’re “working on.” It doesn’t need ‘New Years’ in front of it to be relevant.

But in light of the media filling our heads with non-stop gym this, diet that, I thought I would let you in on what I’m ‘working on.’

This year, I’m resolving to, finally, learn how to cook.

See… I don’t cook. At all. Not even a Tombstone pizza in the oven. I suck. It’s bad.

As With all resolutions the key to success is baby steps. In my case, I need to start at 101. Or maybe even 1.01. I need help.

On Jan 3rd I made Lil’ Johnny an organic pizza for lunch. And I started a small fire. In my microwave. True story.
There was black smoke billowing from the frickin’ microwave. A fire from a microwaveable pizza?? How does one even do that? It took me a half an hour (in minus zero temperatures may I add) to air out the damn kitchen. Awesome.

Capital F fail.

So I gave my resolution a rest for a few days while. Needed to regroup, recharge, and take a second approach. It must have been a fluke.

Last night after work I was on feeding duties.. I was making (read: microwaving) mini quiches for Lil’ Johnny. I read the package. Put in microwave. Stepped away to play with son… And – can you guess? Shit started on fire. Black smoke billowing from the microwave. After a large scream (from me) a loud cry (from baby) the smoke cleared and I found myself nice again in the same situation. Of failure.

My husband came home from work a few minutes later. What the hell?! Again! I’ve never heard of someone starting a fire in the microwave… Especially twice in one week!

Good point.

So maybe I jumped the gun too much with my “baby step” of going straight to the microwave…
They say you need to walk before you run. In my case, I need to crawl.

I think I need to start with an Easy Bake Oven.

Yeah, it’s a baby toy… But when a taking baby step isn’t it best to start with baby toys?

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