Bottle Monster

Posted on October 20, 2013


Lil’ Johnny will not give up the bottle.
Milk has to be administered in a bottle for him. Sippy cups need not apply.

I guess the branch doesn’t fall too far from the tree. Mommy likes the bottle too.
Except mine holds wine.

It ain’t just the sippy cups that Lil’ Johnny despises. It’s straw cups and other cups as we’ll.
If it isn’t in a bottle with a nipple, kid ain’t taking it.
He’ll scream for a half hour straight without reprieve.

See we fucked up. When we changed to cows milk we put it in a bottle. It should have been given in a sippy cup. Damn.
We are first time parents and idiots. We litterally created a bottle monster.
Now we’re paying for it.

Doctors advice? Then he doesn’t get milk. Let him scream. He’ll learn. He won’t starve.

Great, so doc will you sit with him while he’s screaming at the top of his lungs for hours on end?
Over here in the real world we have apartment neighbors who don’t appreciate screaming children, sleep schedules of our own to maintain, and a passion for not staying up all night with an angry tit baby.

So – we’ll keep trying. Eventually he’ll tire of the bottle right?
But then again mommy hasnt tired of Pinot Grigio…

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