Lil’ Bookworm

Posted on August 25, 2013


Lil’ Johnny loves his books. He just can’t get enough of them. What a great thing – our son loves books! A great tool for learning, it makes for a happy parent. Baby Touch and feel books, color books, baby faces books, first words…animals…peek-a-boo…you name it, we’ve got it.

And here-in lies the problem. We’ve purchased so many our house has turned into the public library. Except that no homeless guys have used the bathroom. That I know of.

So when one has a gazillion books…one must store a gazillion books.
We have books stores in cupboards, stashed in random boxes, cabinets, stuffed any in crevices, and littered all over floor like 10 days wash.

A simple act of walking across the carpet requires agility and prestige coordination. It’s like playing Frogger. Except you don’t get squished if you miss-step, you end up sliding across the carpet and landing flat on your ass….
No honey, I am not practicing the splits, I just slipped on “Baby Farm Animals” and almost broke my ass.

Books on carpet are slicker than oil on ice.
Trust me on this one.

On top of dodging, storing, and staring at books – one must read the books.


In one 24 hour period I can easily read “Baby Faces Peekaboo” 86 times.
That’s not an exaggeration.

Kid can’t get enough. He loves it.
That one I can handle.

But the one thing I can’t handle is Dr. Seuss books. What the f is that guy talking about? We’re supposed to be teaching our children words and vocabulary by reading this illogical and nonsensical shit?

What’s the county of Keck and who likes speck? Why does the fish have a star and how the hell is it driving a car?

Come on – Is that really teaching him anything besides rhyme time with meaningless inane words?

It makes me frickin crazy.

Look, I’ll read it, but I don’t like it.

And I don’t like green eggs and ham.

And who gives a fuck about Sam?
Ya know who? My Lil’ Man.

So continue to read it? I sure the keck am.

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