The F Word

Posted on July 25, 2013


Since Lil’ Johnny has joined our world I have become an F word enthusiast.

Truthfully, I’ve always cursed like a sailor. But today I’m talking about a different F word.

The Firsts.

The First Halloween, the First Christmas, the First Easter, etc… A onesie for each; a picture of all.
It’s been a wild ride of outfits and accessories and photo-happy mom shenanigans.

Like most first time parents we’ve gone past just the holidays, acknowledging much more.
We’re documenting the first smile, the first puree, and even the first time seeing grass.

But even farther…
First time on a bus. First time in a Target store. First time at Ikea.

And sometimes outfits for these too. What… you don’t dress your kid up in yellow and blue when going to Ikea? Who are you?

I admit, it’s a little out of control.
Okay, way out of control.

The aftermath has been impressive. Massive digital picture albums that have crashed my computer twice, printed keepsake books and albums stacked everywhere, and picture frames without counter space.
Okay, completely ridiculously out of control.

Now, Lil’ Johnny is approaching his first birthday and my obsessive planning has once again kicked into gear. I came to a frightening realization.

I’m running out of F bombs.

His one year birthday marks the end of the holiday firsts and also the end of the baby days…and the end of the new mom honeymoon.

I’m a seasoned mom now…way past knowing how to swaddle and how to use a booger sucker. These days are gone my friend. I now smile knowingly at new moms. Been there and done that.

Where did the first year go? I know I lived the first year… I have 20,000 pics and bags under my eyes to prove it, but it happened so quickly. It has flown by.

Sure, there are some big milestones still coming – but they will be few and far between – the First poo-poo in the potty, the First prom… The First arrest…

Now what? Do I buy more computer memory and start documenting seconds?

Of course. Duh.
Just wish there was a better way of labeling it.

Maybe I should start an Etsy collection of my 2nd Christmas, my 2nd Halloween and my 2nd trip to Ikea onesies…? Create a whole new market for crazy documentaries like myself?

No matter, I’m sure gonna miss saying my F words. I’m sure the S word will be special,
But It’s just not as fun to say as my F bombs.
I’m sure the F bomb will come out gain during the First arrest.

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