Crawl Space

Posted on July 6, 2013


Lock down the house and baton down the hatches. Lil Johnny is crawling.

Backwards only, and complete with grunting noises, but make no mistake – crawling he is.

He’s loving it, and I’m losing it.

But not because I m worried about the things he could get into…Dave and I actually hired a baby proofer and had that taken care of weeks ago. Like I was going to hammer or drill. Please.

But I’m losing it because now I can’t look away for even a second. In a mere millisecond Lil man is into something.. anything.. everything.

Any parent knows this. I was scared of this. Now in living it, it’s far worse than expected…You can’t look away. You can’t even blink. How am I supposed to go to the bathroom? You can’t even piss.

So naturally- we did what any other parent would do.
We started to drink.
We freaked out and started to Google every man made apparatus to hold a child.

After seeing the prices of play yards and play pens and any other contraption with the word play substituted for cage, we turned to our dog’s crate… She really doesn’t use it, and It would technically work… But that is wrong, right? And it would need to be cleaned. That’s not happening.

So instead we ended up ordering a it’s-almost-as-big-as-our-apartment (how are we possibly going to fit more shit in here) made for baby “cage.”

So now I can pee. That will be nice.
And maybe pour a glass of wine. That will be even nicer.

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