Posted on June 20, 2013


Little Johnny had his 9-month check up the other day.
As usual, the nurse measured his weight, length, and head circumference. No shocker here, he’s big.

But this time, he posted a stat unlike before: 98 percentile in all three categories.

I waited for a trophy. It never came.

He’s measured big before. High 80s. Once, low 90s…. But 98?
I guess even I was shocked a little. I mean we are talking baby size, not the summer heat wave outside…98 is a big number. We’re almost off the charts.

Then the doctor came in and dramatically announced that Lil’ Johnny is “the picture of health!”
I agree. A chubby little baby with a smile on his face.

Next, it was time for the shot.
It’s always the same with this doc. Ok guys, nice seeing you – take care – shake hands – shoot the kid in the thigh- run to escape cries.

But not this time.

We all stared in disbelief after the shot was over.
You could hear a pin drop….There wasn’t a peep.
Our son didn’t even flinch.

I looked down at his leg where it was administered. Did the chubby leg deflect the shot?

I looked to the doctor – was there even a needle? Maybe he shot a blank?
I looked back at Little Johnny’s leg. Yep. A bit of blood is coming out.

Wow. Holy hell! It’s official. We have the toughest baby on the block.

My baby can beat up your baby.

It’s beyond tough though once you start deflecting attacks right? Some sort of superpower? Or like Godzilla in those movies, where armies of men circle in helicopters with machine guns and shoot at the beast, yet Mr. G doesn’t even budge….

As I started pondering this I came to realize that maybe he is more like Godzilla than originally thought? He will soon be destroying our world – furniture and valuables (he does make a mess of everything, and does seem to like stepping on things)…

Our son is a B-movie Japanese culture superhero.

I always liked Godzilla; doesn’t he end up saving humankind at the end?

Just so he doesn’t start breathing fire we’ll be alright. I don’t think fire breath is covered by my renters insurance.

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