Pinterest Makes me Feel Like Shit

Posted on April 28, 2013


Does this happen to anyone else? You click onto Pinterest and see literally 60,000 other moms postings amazing Lil Sally and Johnny crafty art projects, games, activities, recipes, picture ideas, and whatever the fuck else – and then you feel like shit. I missed out on doing/eating/playing these cool _____ (insert here) with my son and now feel like a crappy parent.

It happens to me every single time I go on Pinterest. I always leave with a to-go bag of guilt and a side of self-pity.

How do these super moms do it?

I barely got Lil Johnny in a clean diaper this morning (I think I remember changing a diaper?)

The best description of my house in the morning is a tornado going through a manure field. If you look up the meaning of shit storm in the dictionary, you will see our apartment.

Taking care of Lil Johnny, getting myself dressed with matching shoes, and out the door this morning without an implosion is the goal. Bonus points for feeding the dog.

So I’m sorry- pancakes in the shape of farm animals is number 6723 on my list. Next to having a colonic.

Look – I happen to think the site is pretty frickin amazing. I have a Pinterest account – albeit weak – with kid outfits and fashion ideas – but I do not have crafty things, kids games, and make your own organic yada yada summer popsicle ideas. You people amaze me. Who are you and please tell me what Kool-Aid you drink so I can get me some of that shit. I want need to be more like you.

But I can’t right now. I will, and for the next foreseeable future, will be continuing my struggle of the juggle charade. But I am contemplating selling tickets so others can watch the shit storm and feel better about themselves. You know – watching the Biggest Loser while at the gym type of thing. (You know you do it.) So step right up folks. Line forms to the right.

But in the meantime, I did avoid being pissed on during the diaper changing this morning…so I do feel pretty darn good about myself today. So today I’m winning. Charlie Sheen eat your heart out.

So – to celebrate all the moms out there who are just happy to have gotten out the door this morning – I’m creating a Pinterest board for us:

  • successful diaper change, with diaper on correctly
  • dog with food bowl (with food in it)
  • a matching pair of shoes – on the right feet
  • a picture of soap for being able to take a zestfully clean shower
  • a clean bathroom. (That one was to make you laugh… Like that would ever happen)

And to all the moms out there with fancy recipes, shit aligned, and toast perfectly crisp- I would like to award you a gold pin. You amaze me.

At the moment I’m gonna keep rockin my dull black one until I find time to buy gold spray paint.


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