An Ode to the Big D

Posted on April 17, 2013

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An Ode to the big D,

Diapers.com, oh how I love thee.

Saving my ass once again in an emergency.

Without you I would be screwed,

My baby’s behind naked and rude,

diaperless and without feed he would be

With a probable visit from the authorities.

You never judge my shopping list

which you must be thinking – really this bitch has lost her shit

ordering at 4am in wee of dawn

when everyone else is getting their party on.

You send me diapers, formula, or any other shit quick,

which is at least once a week – usually in a rage and fit

realizing that I am out of ____whatever it may be,

and a shitty parent, yep that’s me.

How does that box get to me same-day within hours?

I don’t want to know, I’m assuming it’s some freaky illegal superpower

Don’t worry your secret is safe with me,

Just so you keep my life easy and stress free.

My baby thanks you as now his ass is covered,

and not hanging out for all of Manhattan to discover.

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