Spring Cleaning

Posted on April 7, 2013


This morning while playing with Lil Johnny on the floor I looked across the room and noticed our dog was under a chair. I called to her. No answer. I called again – The dog was unresponsive.
Concerned, I went to check on her and realized that it wasn’t our dog… It was, in fact, a dust bunny.

A larger than life, multi particle, years in the making, dust bunny.

I stared at it for a few moments to see if it was breathing.
It was so big I was convinced that it had a pulse.

Holy shit. We have dust bunnies the size of small animals. What’s wrong with us?

I then started surveying the area, seeing the mother dust bunny’s offspring in the corner. Isn’t the old saying “multiply like bunnies”? It applies here.

Embarrassing? Its beyond embarrassing. It’s – if Horders had a special episode on dust collectors I’d be on that shit – embarrassing.

Dave enters the room.

Me: It’s time. We really need to clean up around here (pointing to the bunny colony).

Dave: I can’t wait until Johnny can help with some cleaning.

Me: We’re years alway from that.


Me: Maybe once he starts crawling we could strap little mops on his knees?

Dave: Now you’re thinking.

Me: Call it Baby Roomba. Its a million dollar idea. Maybe I should patent that shit.

Dave: Long silent glare and walks away….

Point taken.

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