A Good Friday

Posted on March 30, 2013


Today I had the day off in observance of Good Friday. Dave had to work, so I’m home with little Johnny. I feel a bit like an absentee parent lately – seeing the little man for only an hour or two max during a typical work day – so this Friday at home is a welcomed treat.

We take an early afternoon walk; there are two reasons for this.  First, Lil’ man needs a nap and a stroller ride guarantees this. Secondly, Mama needs her coffee.  I’ve already had 2 cups from Mr. Keurig and it ain’t cutting it. I need more. Coffee is to me as coke is to Lindsey Lohan. A necessity.

We start out walking along the East River. It has the “it’s Friday” peacefulness you can’t recreate. People are smiling, birds are chirping, and the baby is quietly sleeping. It feels like a fuckin’ utopia.

We swing into one of my favorite coffee joints. The door is being held open by a stopper – allowing for an excitingly easy stroller entrance. I roll right in and order a bigger then your head iced concoction. I salivate watching the Willi-B wannabe hipster create the masterpiece. The first sip is amazing.

We leave and continue on our blissful walk, stopping at the florist in the way to pick up some Easter tulips. Why not?

Then almost instantaneously the Friday gods turned on me. I took a wrong turn with the stroller down construction hell Blvd and found myself in a narrow sidewalk of hustling people at rush hour.

That’s when it happened. Some suit knocked my stroller cup holder with such force that my caffeine fix completely fell out of the holder and on to me, my stroller, and 3 innocent people. I stopped and yelled “thanks a lot asshole” to the suit. My stopping caused a near pileup of people behind me in the constriction narrowed sidewalk.  Another women (presumably a mother) coming from the other direction stopped and picked up my cup. I thanked her but she glared at me like I should know better. I then glared back. Wtf? Why? Because I’m drinking coffee? Because I have a black stroller? Because I’m in the construction zone? Fuck you.

At that point some guy behind me yells “you’re too nice just leave that shit” because we were holding up traffic. Awesome.

So I continue on my way and of course stop at another coffee joint on the way. Moms getting her coffee dammit.

I get coffee number 2 and take a sip. Nowhere near as good as coffee number 1. I simultaneously noticed that the birds have stopped chirping. Cloudy skies have formed, and the baby is stirring.

It’s all going to shit.

We get back to the apartment and I unload the stroller while drinking my coffee. After attending to the dog and putting a few things away I go for another sip and notice that coffee number 2 ( number 4 of the day) is leaking profusely from the base. We’ve got a hole in the cup on hole-y Friday.

Its unbelievable. What luck.

Then it hit me. Holy Shit. It is Good Friday after all – the Coffee Gods are mad at me!

What did I do to piss off the Coffee Gods?

I immediately make a promise to tip the next three coffee baristas I see.  They are the Priests at the Church of Caffeine right?

And I’m apparently the Fucking Martyr.

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