Browsing All Posts published on »March, 2013«

Sweet Things that Give Me a Toothache

March 31, 2013

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Sweet Things that give me a Toothache Let me list a few: Cosmopolitans, Bubble Yum, Jolly Ranchers, and the current baby clothes assortment that can be found in any department store. Why the pastel colors? Why the cutesie animals and soft on the eyes sweet innocent looks?    This shit gives me a toothache.    […]

A Good Friday

March 30, 2013

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Today I had the day off in observance of Good Friday. Dave had to work, so I’m home with little Johnny. I feel a bit like an absentee parent lately – seeing the little man for only an hour or two max during a typical work day – so this Friday at home is a […]

Things I Googled This Week Vol. 1

March 24, 2013

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I’ve come to realize that my dependency on Google is quite horrific. As I typed a few search commands today I saw a trail on recent searches that would make Gary Busey look sane. In sake of me realizing this dependance, I thought I may share some of my searches for your enjoyment. Note all […]

12 Steps

March 22, 2013

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Over the weekend we caved. We bought the damn puree machine. Its time. Time to break the addiction of jar food. Upon seeing the all-in-one baby chef contraption out of the box I immediately started having withdrawals. Why so many knobs? What does that part do? The water goes where? Fuck. Life was so easy […]

Double Down

March 19, 2013

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Lil’ Johnny has lapped the competition. He’s officially now wearing 12 months clothes during his 6th month of life. And whats worse… They’re snug. He’s out of control. At this rate he’ll be in 18 months clothing at 9 months, 1T at 12 months, and driving at age 8. He’s like a doubled up baby […]

Irish Twins

March 17, 2013

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Doesn’t this seem to be the new trend? Everywhere I go I hear about women having children back to back and getting it over with. As soon as they can conceive after giving birth – they go for number 2. Otherwise known as Irish Twins. I don’t know about you – but my labor was […]

Jaraholic

March 15, 2013

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Hi. I’m a new mom and I’m a jaraholic. I have been feeding my son jarred food for about 2 months. I feed my son jar food because I don’t know how to cook, purée, or steam. I don’t know what half the fucking veggies are in the grocery store, and I don’t have time […]

Insomnizombie

March 12, 2013

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Sleep deprivation is a normal part of having a child. Mix in a night of insomnia and we have a whole new level of exhaustion. We have Insomnizombie. You know the ones… The days when you find yourself sleeping in the shower, putting clothes on inside out and the bags under your eyes have their […]

Hair Loss – Week 672

March 11, 2013

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Ok, ok. It’s not week 672, but it does feel like an eternity and my hair loss has not subsided. Now instead of counting my hair loss each day I count the hairs left. It’s fucking easier. Today I finally had my hair dyed. I had to. My roots could be measured in feet and not […]

Foodie at 5 Months

March 8, 2013

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We just increased the purées to 5 oz a day – 1 jar at breakfast, 1 for dinner. He might as well be eating McDonald’s because that boy is lovin it. The second you put him in the high chair his mouth opens wide like a little birdie waiting for the worm. He’s ecstatic and instantly […]