No Mom Pants Here

Posted on February 28, 2013


It happened twice. During my trip this past weekend to visit family I had not one, but two (!)people comment on my pants. Note that these were two entirely different pair of pants on different ‘legs’ of the trip… ridiculous pun intended.

The first comment came waiting to board my flight from NYC. While in line, a women actually tapped me on the shoulder (interrupting my texting trance) and giddily told me that “my teenage daughter would love those pants!” Awesome. I uttered “great” with a sarcastic undertone and mustered a half-witted smile.

I sulked onto my flight, wondering If I looked like a walking advertisement for Forever 21.

Next comment came from a guy on the trip back to NYC, while wearing a totally different pair of pants. In seperate gate area, clear away from other people (to have my own space) a middle aged Costanza came and sat directly next to me.  I gave him the death glare as to say can I help you? “Those are some crazy pants”  he proclaimed, “my daughter would love those!” In a yet somehow higher octive he continued “I mean, she would get SUCH a kick out of those!”
I stared at him silently while trying to assess what the fuck was happening.

A) Why has this happened twice in 3 days? And more importantly B) since when do I look so approachable? Doesn’t my all black outfit with mad -travel-grin scare people away anymore?

He must have seen my despair because he left soon after.

Look, I’m sure as hell not  wearing mom pants,  but they wouldn’t be classified as crazy circa 1986 Zoombas either. WTF? Are my fashion tastes that eccentric or am I dressing too young for my age? Do I immediately burn the pants or frame them and award them with a trophy?

The jury’s still out and I really don’t give a shit. I’m happy in my pants. So fuck off.

But I’ve already decided one thing. Next flight- I’m going pant less.

Let’s give em something to talk about.

Posted in: Uncategorized