99 Bottles

Posted on February 15, 2013

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How many bottles do you have in your cupboard? I just counted mine and I’m embarrassed that there’s more baby bottles in this house then there are wine bottles. So – even with all these bottles, why is that I feel as if I am doing dishes every goddamn minute? Am I sleep walking and indulging in a little Similac four times a night? Did Dave start drinking out of bottles and I hadn’t noticed?  Or maybe Dave opened a meth lab and he thinks I won’t notice if he uses the baby bottles to mix his shit?

I mean, there is no way that this little nine pound fella is going through a sink full of bottles in an afternoon. Maybe I’ll set up the nanny cam to the bottle station instead. Some crazy shit is going down in this house and I need to get to the bottom of it. The bottom of the bottle.

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