The Big Chair

Posted on February 6, 2013

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It’s now time. With Lil Johnny’s new found love of purée and success with the spoon, it’s time for the big chair.

I stop by our local baby trap store to check out some options after work. Holy hell. These things are gigantic. I mean titanic gigantic. How come a chair that sits a 18 lb baby has to be bigger than a Lazyboy? I mean, really? These things have molded plastic parts that are thicker than car tires and have more levers than an espresso machine. Shouldn’t it be a hell of a lot smaller? And easier? And at least dispense coffee?

I leave in disgust. I can’t believe it. More made in china monstrosity in our already cramped 200 sq feet of living space. How is this ever going to work?

I’m reminded of my old rule of thumb in college. When in doubt- bolt shit to the ceiling. Eureka – I got it. If Dave and I get rid of our bed and instead get hammocks and sleep dangling from the ceiling like fuckin monkeys – we’d gain back about 100 sq feet. Much needed space for the high chair! And if we scrap our current modern decor for a jungle book theme and I bet no one would even notice the hammocks.

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