Word to the Wise: Jury Duty

Posted on January 15, 2013


As previously mentioned I had delayed jury duty no less than 7x. 7 times! Holey cajolery! True Story. Now – before you start judging me with “it’s my civic duty” and all this blah blah,  please know that it was delayed for good reason. It started out as my mother was terminally ill, then because I was on bed rest, and then because I was 9 months pregnant, and then because I just had a baby, etc. etc.  So… All legit and good excuses. I’m legit god damn it!

But… let’s be honest. No one wants to serve jury duty. No one! Especially when ya got a new little one at home. I’m just trying to juggle. I’m just trying to make it through the day. And in this survival mode one shouldn’t be subjected to civic duties on top of diaper duty. So – let me help you. I am now an unofficial expert on this shit.

First and foremost, Check your state law. In New York the law states that if you are the sole caregiver to the child you are excused from jury duty for 16… Yes that says 16! Years.  So… If I was smart right after little Johnny joined my world, instead of delaying, I could have simply sent in his birth certificate and would have been excused for 16 years. I messed up. Big time. This was major – the equivalent of not turning in a lottery ticket. I’m such a dumb ass. I am excused now for 6 years. A longtime, sure! But it could have been 16 years! Hello. That’s amazing, 16 years would have been such a treat.  Son-of-a… I missed out on a wonderful opportunity. I beg of you. Look up the laws. Educate yourself. And do your due diligence. Don’t do what I did! Otherwise you’ll end up pumping in the 1970s museum too.

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