Playing Teams

Posted on November 7, 2013

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Playing Teams

There seems to be an unsaid divide out there between some moms. I’ve seen it more and more recently and I find it quite shocking.

The divide is between the moms with one child and the moms with two children.

I thought we were in the same club? Navigating this parenting world together, right?

Seemingly this is not the case.

It’s becoming more and more apparent lately to me that moms with 2 children hate or despise those with only one.

I’ve even heard a mother say that “I cannot be friends with someone with only one child.”
“It’s such a different experience with 2 versus 1 – you wouldn’t understand.”

Wow. Pretty brutal.

But aren’t we on the same team? Aren’t all moms with kids forever anointed in the club? Regardless what the head count may be? Aren’t we are all navigating this shit show of parenthood together?

No, apparently that doesn’t matter.

See, we may be in the same school, but light years apart. It’s like being in high school – taking the freshmen and putting them in the same room with the seniors. They have nothing in common. The freshmen want to hang with the seniors but the seniors want nothing to do with the freshmen.

You both made it to high school – you’re in the same building – but thats it. Thats where it ends. Once in a rare moon – the senior may befriend a freshman, but usually only when siblings are involved.

Case in point, when a mom with two kids and their youngest child makes friends with an only child. The moms are forced to be friendly.

I feel as if it really stems from the fact that they do not want to take the time to walk you through parenting for the first time. They roll their eyes at simple mistakes. They don’t have patience for the questions, and don’t enjoy seeing you have more time in your hands as you are only chasing one (not two). They have been there, done that, and are not looking to hand hold someone through the process. They have enough hands to hold as it is.

As I started realizing this I watched my surroundings. Take for example – our local playground on a typical Sunday. The parents with one kid are in one corner, those with two in the other. Shooting unapologetic glances at each other through the silent but noticeable eye rolls; this occurs each time first-time mom pulls out the camera or acts over protective with her little nugget on the slide.

It’s actually hard to miss – how is it I never even noticed before? Maybe because I was behind the camera.

We’ll at least it’s not as bad as the childless families. Ask a mom with 2+ kids about childless families. They don’t even exist to her. At least I exist.

Which got me thinking – as we sit here at the perpetual crossroads of 2 versus 1 with my family – how bad could it be? Will I roll eyes? Will I be forced to join the eye rolling clique?

We’re still on the playground fence on this one.

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